Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
It's Friday. Sex?
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
