if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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