Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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