naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid