Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.