no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
