I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
My pussy is not your playground.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
