I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize