I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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