nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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