Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize