Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
