Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
