..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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