You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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