i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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