my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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