it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
