making cat noises will not fix the situation.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
you win again, gameday.
No subtext here. People are naked.
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The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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