tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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