We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Randomize
