First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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