no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
