Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
