We need to rekindle our bromance
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
