i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
