what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize