Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Congratulations! We have a period
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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