no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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