I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
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