is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
