His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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