I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
