i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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