were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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