dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Randomize
