Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
