I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
