My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
