I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize