I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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