Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
