Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
i now understand why vodka
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
