I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
