She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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