He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
