I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
