Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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