i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Randomize