You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
