Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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