apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
