no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
this will be a night to untag.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
