He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
