got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Even the bartender felt bad for me
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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