After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
