She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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