Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
