I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I'm at about main and main street
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
