i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
