So drunk its hurt
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
There are leaves in my underwear?
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