this will be a night to untag.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
