When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
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i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
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By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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