Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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