He is an equal opportunity slut.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
