yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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