you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
