I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
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