I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Randomize
