There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
