absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
