Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
